Is It GAY Marriages Or Civil Unions?

February 21-2007:

http://my.opera.com/BringBaka/

Is It GAY Marriages Or Civil Unions?

I have heard arguments from all areas, (for and against) marriage between two men. Whether or not the word 'marriage' should be used, bothers me greatly.
The heterosexuals feel that word is SACRED to them, from a historical stand point. This is based on their religious beliefs primarily. So any violation of this understanding by any same gender loving, or same gender unions, must take this reality into consideration. If they are going to make any headway towards legislative action, or legal acceptance.
I would prefer that Gay men or Homosexuals who require this civil right, to use the words 'Civil Unions.' This to my mind will help pave the way for an explanation as to the pros and cons of this preferred union, to be made legally binding!

Black Homosexuals/Gay Men's Position:
Most DL Black, Latino, Gay, and Homosexual men seem not too keen on publicly advocating for any legalization of their bedroom business, as some usually frame it.
Firstly, Black American and Latino men do not (in great numbers) identify as Gay or Homosexual. If you ask most of these men how they categorize themselves socially, sexually, or as a community. Most will say openly 'Heterosexual,' and some quietly 'bisexual And advocating for legal Civil or Marriage legislation is never going to happen in large numbers within these two communities ever!
Black & Latino men are quite comfortable with having several women for show, having children with some of them, to show society that they are men or macho.
But actually living with another man, under the same roof as a couple, is unheard of for most of these men. And will never be contemplated! Most are quite comfortable living with their parents, relatives, or not being committed to any one man or woman. This is a cultural reality here in the USA.
Until we come to terms with this reality, Gay White men, will always be the ones that will spearhead any advocacy, for making Gay unions legal in America.
Derryck S. Griffith.
Educator-Advocate & Blogger.

SUGGESTED SOLUTION:
The proposal for Gay Marriages may never be totally accepted by mainstream American heterosexuals.
Why not use Gay UNIONS instead.
That term may be more likely to be accepted. It does not fly in the faces of the traditional concept of heterosexual arrangements/marriages.
I think that is the way to go with this issue.
Derryck

The New Breed Of Gay Men Today!

The New Breed Of Gay Men!

It is very difficult for Older Gay men to accept this new breed of Down Low, not too obvious, and less Swishy Gay men is very real indeed. I have found over the years that most openly Gay men feel that their buddies or fellow Gay men MUST become obvious to all and sundry, to be truly one of them. Let me explain a bit further, some openly Gay men believe that all Gay men are BOTTOMS, and that all Gay men must identify with any type of Gay man, regardless of behavior, attitudes, sexual appeal, or lack of character and good taste.

So when this DL phenomena became public, and people started asking questions about it, and looking at those men who traditionally had associated with, hung-out with, looked like, was fashionable, and always dressed neatly, with the latest Threads, even though he never had a regular job. The red lights started flashing, and people started saying quietly to each other, remember Johnny from so and so place, who is always with them Gay boys. And remember David who visits Beryl's house, and is always at her Gay parties, even though he always say that he is not Gay. So what is the big deal now?
The Big Deal came about when HIV became an obvious problem and concern with Heterosexual Black women. Many of whom got the virus from their husbands, male friends, boy friends, and lovers, who claimed to be faithful, not into male sexual activities. But rumor says that many of these same men are sleeping with men. So this became a major concern with heterosexual women. So when this other DL brother sat on Opra Winfry talk show, and spill the beans to her about the DL life and life style.
All Hell Broke Loose!

Death threats were sent him, major DL brothers became paranoid about the repercussions of that public revelation. And the DL earthquake began to roar. However, in time, the women became more pro-active in their actions. They started attending HIV prevention workshops, speaking out against DL men who are married and sleeping with men too. And that was the beginning of the DL fiasco, and subsequent openness. But not all DL men are prepared to come clean openly. Not all DL men feel that they should. And most DL men will tell you privately, that to be quiet about their business, is what DL is all about.
Anytime a DL man or woman come into the open with their bedroom business, they are not REAL or true to the DL concept of that life style. And they would be considered traitors, and flammers!
Derryck S. Griffith.
Educator-Advocate & Blogger.

Gay Relations Are In Serious Trouble!

February 05-2007:

http://360.yahoo.com/derryck_sylvester

Gay Relations Are In Serious Trouble!

The way you respond or relate to other Gay or Homosexual men and women, regardless of whether you like them physically or not. Say a lot about who, what, and the type of character you truly are.
Let me clarify this further:
Humans are expected to relate to each other civilly, in any civilized society or culture. And this goes for Gay, Homosexual, Lesbian, or Heterosexual people. As humans in a civilized society or setting, there are certain mores or behaviors that one is expected to observe, like courtesy, good manners, privacy, respect for a person's space, personal privacy, and property. When individuals fail to observe or respect these values, they come across to other people as SAVAGES, BARBARIANS, and CRUDISH.

I have found in so many circumstances that I had reason to operate in, or be a part of, e.g. Groups, Parties, or other social settings. Where Gay men cannot behave socially, cannot respond to a social overture, or solicitation without some form of Savage Rebuff, Foul Language, or basically Rudeness. Because in most cases the other person does not fit their view of what is desired physically.
He may not have the preconcieved Age, Beauty, Muscular Features, Abs, Ethnicity, Skin Color, Car, Clothes, Employment, or Education. So he or she is treated rudely, snubbed, dismissed, or simply cussed out, for showing some desire for this Self-centered Egotistical, and Vane individual's perception of himself or herself!

Detriments To Establishing Healthy Relationships:

All of the above flaws are contributing factors that prevent stable, good, healthy, or positive relationship building, or relationship possibilities. Some Gay men and women feel that because they are young in age, they have the right to dismiss those Gay men who are older, physically unfit, HIV positive, Obese, not the preferred Ethnic gender, or Cultural background. Some Gay men actually say they are in search of that 'Perfect male,' for friendship or love!
Well, I have news for those who feel that way. The PERFECT MALE or FEMALE, does not exist. And if you find one that you think is perfect for you, he may not find you desirable or perfect for him. Just keep that in mind when you seek perfection!

Responding To Personal Solicitations:

If someone tries to make friends with you, online, at a party, at the Mall, at the theatre, or any social setting. And he/she may not be physically appealing to you, just let him or her know that he or she does not physically appeal to you. This can be done in a civil manner, without being insulting. Not everyone who hits of you, will be appealing to you. But that does not give you the right to be insulting, rude, or dismissive. I have told many Gay men (from all age groups), that they do not physically appeal to me sexually. But if they feel that making friends would be a desired alternative, then that would not be a problem.
Now, that may not be a desire of yours, but at least, they deserve some explanation or response to their solicitation. Some Gay men are very CRUDE, Obnoxious, and downright Perverse when they hit on you. But even in that situation, you should show intelligence when responding, and NEVER forget civility! After all, you would feel terribly offended if someone told you after trying to make friends, that he is not looking for A NIGGA, A BLACK, A WHITE BOY, A FAT HOMO, A FEMME HOMO, Or a SISSY HOMO either!

Good Luck-And Good Hunting Brothers!

Derryck S. Griffith.
Educator-Advocate & Blogger.
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